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02 July 2007 @ 03:32 pm
 Well i continued to ignore Rich last night on MSN - he said "look i'm sorry" but i didn't reply. I guess it just seems like an unheartfelt apology. He tried to get shitty with me and said "fine i'll tell my mum i can't help her tommorow and come round and see you. i'll be round at 8." I couldn't help but answer, telling him not to emotionally blackmail me because it won't work. I wasn't asking him to drop everything to see me, just to bother to at least text me, ring me (he says his phone has been cut off again but he has a home phone hasn't he?!) to at least see how i am. I said i didn't want to talk to him over MSN i wanted to see him face to face. He was the one who said the fact i nearly died was of equal prioirity to his new job - i mean, am i over reacting? Please tell me if i am.

 I bet he doesn't turn up tonight, he's always full of empty threats. But if he does, God forgive me, i will play on it - i can walk fine now but i won't infront of him. I want him to feel guilty. I want him to feel bad. I've never been like this before, i have never been this angry and hurt in my entire life. He even had the cheek to make out he is suffering as much as i am! I mean i'm sorry but has he lost 40% of the ability to have kids? No. Does he have to recover from the shock and physical and mental scars of emergency surgery? No. Is he left to pick up the pieces? No. He may be suffering - i do not deny him that, but however selfish and self absorbed you want to call me, i don't think for a second he is suffering anywhere near as much as i am.

So place your bets everyone - will he turn up tonight? x
Current Location: at home
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: signal to noise - Peter Gabriel